The Wake

29 July, 2010 at 16:23 (Uncategorized)

I talk loudly at the wake,
loudly, and fast.
I try to make you laugh
– then nothing will have passed.
Let us raise a glass to the future
and never the past.

The past has far too many questions for me,
all of them unasked.
I see you almost break
or come too close to tears,
then I’ll talk louder, faster still
so no one can help but hear;

How jolly it is to move on.
My voice goes on and on and on
I talk too much in the car
My listeners wish they were anywhere else
I go a little too far.
But how can I make sense of this?

My once and former self
died, this is her wake too.
I talk too much and far too loud,
I laugh too much and make you smile
Once upon a time we were happy
Even we were proud…

There’ve been too many years of shame
That’s all forgotten now.
I talk too loudly at the wake
I try to make you laugh
My mourning must be nothing at all
Toast the future, not the past.

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26 July, 2010 at 19:02 (Uncategorized)

Just tell me I’m not boring your socks off
the deal is still on
we’re all still a go.
Tell me that I was right on this
and that I know what I think I know.

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Picking Up My Pen

24 July, 2010 at 12:20 (Uncategorized)

I pick up my pen
and put it down again.
Everybody thinks they know
Just as they’ve always done
Everybody has always been
absolutely wrong.
I pick up my pen
and put it down again.

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18 July, 2010 at 20:58 (Uncategorized)

The world is wet and full of weeping
Watch the rain come down
The old wounds of pus are seeping
watch the water in this town
The rain it is a cloak throughout
and looks like they were right
it cannot rain forever
only for one night.
The night goes on, forever on,
The weeping goes on too
and the world just keeps on turning
and the glance goes from me to you
this town just keeps on raining
it almost obscures the view.

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18 July, 2010 at 18:02 (Uncategorized)

Sitting on the sofa watching TV
I have always hated the preparation
that comes when removing a plaster,
rip it off and do it quickly.

Sitting on the sofa watching TV
I have always hated the build up
that comes when expecting an injection
take the plunge and do it soon.

Sitting on the sofa watching TV
I have always hated waiting
and so it goes and so it goes
life is waiting for the end to come.

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18 July, 2010 at 01:31 (Uncategorized)

So, I got everything I ever wanted
and looks like I’m likely to continue to
go as far as I wanted to…
and I’m waiting for the shoe
to drop and cut the other hand off too.

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Dinner Molecule

17 July, 2010 at 10:00 (Uncategorized)

Did we go out as we came in?
Over dinner
…afternoon tea, breakfast, supper
countless afternoons
you pour the tea, I’ll get the wine, choose the music:
and rewind.

A family meal, but what a family,
and you created this mess we’re in
I deny
over tea, beneath the table your foot finds mine
haven’t we been doing that all this time?
you pour the wine, I’ll fetch the milk, I take mine black and strong
you won’t tell me twice, pass the gravy please, I’ll get some ice.
you don’t take sugar in your tea, put the Sunday music on:
and rewind.

Did we come in as we were supposed to go out?
Caught out, mentioning tea and cakes,
take your coffee black.
I take it back, rewind.

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16 July, 2010 at 00:47 (Uncategorized)

Why is it, that whenever we begin
I have to leave?

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16 July, 2010 at 00:46 (Uncategorized)

It’s all coming
and I was not there
I’d promised to be.
But did not recognise the tone in time
and now
you’re on your own.
You didn’t have to be.

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8 July, 2010 at 16:03 (Uncategorized)

There are some rules in life which seem quite obvious
To ensure survival, of ourselves and others
There are some rules in life to which I’m quite oblivious
The knowledge of who precisely, is ‘out of my league’ for one.

Hushed whispers, judging on appearance, the likelihood of some colleague
Being fantastically lesbian
Being outlandish in some way
Has always seemed to me to be
An extension of the male gaze, judgement by appearance only
And sexist in the extreme.
There are some rules in life which I deny,
Despite the fact that they exist, patently,
Patiently awaiting the day I admit them.

So lets drive in the night with the lights turned off
And your hands, rolling another cigarette as you steer with your knees,
Are busy, so I’ll pour the wine and hand it to you
When the cigarette’s done.

There are some rules in life which seem to be inherent
Understood instinctually be everyone around me
And never noticed by myself until too late.
The knowledge of who precisely I would
Not worry about killing me in a single roll
So let’s toss the dice and start again
Without worrying precisely who’s playing
Assuming that someone’s paying, it might be me.

Lets drive through the darkness with the lights out
And your hands,

are busy, so I’ll pour the wine and hand it to you
When you’re done.

There are some rules about life and death and responsibility
I’m sure I took the time to learn them
It’s simply that, in the dark, I ignored them
as we rolled on.

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