31 March, 2007 at 13:34 (Uncategorized)

A multi-faceted brilliant diamond is my life,
A beautiful place with radiance in every direction,
There are dark places too in this diamond.
But if you think you know th whole,
Chances are you haven’t really looked,
This diamond shines everywhere with it’s language,
It’s wholeness and sense of self,
If you seek the darkness then look by all means,
But don’t think that thats the only thing within the whole.

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31 March, 2007 at 12:17 (Uncategorized)

To be tough, to be like leather,
To be unavailable to hurt and to bounce,
These things seem as if they are like strength,
But they are not,
And it takes a light to show you how they aren’t,
To be tough, to be hard-boiled,
To be as far away from vulnerability as it takes,
These things seem as if they prove you strong,
But they don’t.
And this is my map,
And this is my compass,
To be tough, to be unmoving, unrelenting,
To be perfectly capable of saying no and again no,
These things are where strength may begin,
These things may prove an inner strength ignored,
But they are not strong,
They are eventually breakable, shatterable and broken on the floor,
Smashed against the ceiling,
This is my path,
This is my map,
The compass looks a little broken, let me throw it behind,
To be strong is to take the hurt not run away from it,
To take it, to embrace it, to rock yourself to the core,
To be strong is to wrap your arms around the hurt and make it,
To keep on walking when it breaks you down,
This is my map, my very own, I cannot share it.
To bounce, is not tough but strong,
To bounce is between the words,
To take the strength that’s offered and add it to your own,
Not bottle up and ignore all those worlds,
I will wrap around me what I’m offered,
And when it breaks I’ll mend it if they ask,
If they don’t I’ll walk away with scars,
Not bind them with ointments so they don’t hurt.
To be strong is to dance on the cliff edge,
With everyfoot so neatly placed,
And when I take a tumble as must happen,
Is to get up with blood and smiles upon my face,
I’ll take that tumble gladly everytime,
Because I have seen the strong gathering,
I want so to be amidst that number,
I’ll take that tumble gladly everytime,
And if I have to fall, to the bottom of the cliff,
And if I have to fail, with everything I try,
I’ll keep it, take the strength I’m offered,
Keep on walking, keep on dancing everytime.
This is my map,
That was my compass,
I cannot give it to another, they must make their own,
This is my map,
This is my clifftop,
This is where I’m dancing on my own.

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Nothing

30 March, 2007 at 09:41 (Uncategorized)

Too far away and hurting,
I am nothing to you now,
You’ve seen the knife,
Noticed I abuse the trust,
For there is nothing left for me,
But doomed and hopeless lust.

Too far away from me,
Cleaned yourself up as I hoped you would,
But you’ve seen the glint in my eye,
Noticed all my reasons why,
There is nothing left for me,
A friendship in decay before it started.

Too far away now, I spoke too soon,
I said too much,
I am nothing now to you,
I wield this knife inexpertly,
Like filleting a salmon already boneless,
Again with the cycle, all is done.

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Cruelty

29 March, 2007 at 23:30 (Uncategorized)

To write is to give in,
It is to fight as well,
But to write is to make judgements,
In the split second of writing,
And to nail them to a wall,
And be cruel within sight of all,
To be cruel, and to bleed,
And cause others to as well,
To write is to give in,
And say to everyone,
Yes, judgement is my sin,
And here is mine on you,
Don’t like it?
Here is mine on you and you and you,
Don’t like it?
Here is mine, now write your own,
And fight until I write in blood,
Which will be my own,
To write is to be cruel,
I cannot help it.
The apologies are all baked until,
You shut the door forever.

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Biblically

29 March, 2007 at 09:52 (Uncategorized)

Fuck me if you want to fuck my friends,
You think the journey’s stopped?
This isn’t where it ends,
He thinks this has been fraught,
She thinks god knows what,
So fuck me if you want to fuck my friends,
This isn’t where we started,
This isn’t where I’ll end,
Because these lines are not linear,
They move and twist and move around bends,
Because this isn’t what you thought of,
Thats why your so upset,
Well it’s something I’ve always known,
Now are we there yet?
This isn’t where we started and this isn’t where we’ll end,
But didn’t you know,
You have to fuck my friends and know them one by one,
Each soul to soul shall be,
And didn’t you know, you need your eyes wide open to see,
That each of them is touching,
It’s not sordid at all, because each of us is bleeding,
Wide open holes completeing wide open, gaping, holes,
This rawness is a twist,
This openness is bliss,
This isn’t where we started from,
This isn’t where we’ll end,
And if you’re trying to know me then you’ll have to fuck my friends.

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28 March, 2007 at 21:50 (Uncategorized)

There is a way for touching,
Wrapping around and moving,
Stroking passion that comes in waves,
Touches and touches again,
Licks and strokes and comes again,
Until we pulse together in this touching, constant touching,
That never moves,
That moves again,
This pile of pulsing, touching selves that comes and comes and comes again,
Wrapped around and moving,
Nothing matters,
Just the sense of gold that comes from this.

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Reading Thomas

28 March, 2007 at 12:42 (Uncategorized)

And death shall have no dominion with me,
Not through some crossed drenched winding sea,
Death shall not come on when we have drunk the cup,
For we will live forever with the daisies,
And we will live forever on the moors,
Death shall have no dominion,
Not because of my faith but because of my trust,
And everywhere comes down to this,
There is no end when you love,
There is no death where we have tramped,
For the path that we are taking is a path of love,
So lets take a path of daisies and go,
Where we make a country in which,
Death is not overlord of all.

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Too Far Away

28 March, 2007 at 10:33 (Uncategorized)

You’re there again, in a place I know well,
This begins, my very own special hell,
I cannot reach you, I see myself in your words,
I cannot possibly reach you,
And he seems to be doing worse,
I let you down and there you are, right there,
Singing the tune of the path,
The beat I used to march to,
I am off the path and trapped, too far away from you,
In my very own special hell,
With the iron of unspoken words, wrapped around and keeping me in,
With the iron of unspoken sin in my soul, refusing to let me move,
You’re there again and I wish for the thousandth time,
I could tell you what I know,
I know, too much that is unfair and useless,
My map of the place is my own, and of no use to share,
I am, too far away from you, in my very own special hell.

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Pedestal

27 March, 2007 at 23:00 (Uncategorized)

When, there is nothing more to love,
Will you place me on your pedestal then?
When I have run this ground dry of blood,
Will you show your adoration then?
I am not, I am not, I am not,
Three times I cast it to the ground,
Three times three you’re flinching,
Listen to the sound of the flutes in the distance,
That is the sound the flowers make,
Come and follow me there,
Come and talk with me there,
We’ll wander in my garden if you dare,
If you truly dared then I would be ground level,
With you, not up on high, or is it that,
You just want to watch me fall,
Trip the light fantastic on these non-existant wings,
And come to stumble so that one of you,
Or two, can fulfill their relevant complexes,
Save me when I don’t need saving,
But then neither does she, she only thinks she does,
And you can’t see how strong she is,
Or that this lance you’re waving will strike her down,
Still, I am no longer in the garden to talk to,
And you and you and you, have hoisted me atop this pedestal,
Still, you’d never let me drown,
My father has me pinned here too,
He thinks this is the cellar,
Can you hear my voice echoe against it’s walls,
Or is it the valley you’ve made with your shameless waving?
Faerie in the mist coming with her chains,
Again and again and again,
They’re breaking, and no, this one I’m not faking,
So come with me one and all if you want to escape this flood of words,
This time it’s for real and theres only one escape,
The way out of the cellar and through the mists,
This Avalon of mine upon a real pillar,
Not this pedestal thats shaking,
You’ll never let me down will you?
Never let me down to take the blame, to drown, to sink and to escape,
This fantasy you’re building,
Come, take the golden road with me,
Come away from those dangerous lances,
But you can’t hear me can you, I lost you with those words,
In halls and bathroom walls the flood is building,
The chains are binding, and twisting,
Soon, soon, soon, the whole place will be listing,
It’s all a bit too much, so let me down,
I want off this pedestal you’re building and down into my garden again,
Down where I can be earthy again, wipe the mud off my feet before I come indoors,
Be unfettered and free once more,
Run from the woods and the trees, take a respite from the seas,
Live with myself on the moors,
Somewhere she can come and talk to me,
Somewhere you can wave to me,
Somewhere he can ride on by, and nevermore be beholden to his lie.
It’s coming and will come with a rush, hold onto yourselves and hold onto me,
We will be safe on these moors, we and she and we,
When there is nothing more to love.

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Knife

27 March, 2007 at 12:07 (Uncategorized)

Take this knife out of my hands swan-necked Princess,
This is a loathesome habit carried out in verse,
Carve your name into my heart magician,
Careful when the blood leaks around your sigil,
Streaming out along the golden threads that you call wyrd,
Don’t listen to what they say,
They can’t see me anyway,
They all just see what they want to see,
A fairytale princess just stepped out of a dream,
But the swan-necked Princess knows that the truth is obscene,
The magician knows that this life of mine is a lie,
The truth is in the blood and burning,
Can you scent the hair on the air as it singes against the grate,
Judge me then, but you see, only what you want to see,
Let me put this smock on and judge me then,
How I scream for honesty and place my hands on the coals,
And burn for my lies, drip the venom on me, my whole life,
A recipe for fakes and the trickster sings,
I come running for his blue eyes;
Capricious used to be his word,
Incorrigable is getting used these days,
When will it be shame?
When she places herself in my safe, safe hands,
And I reveal them to be holding another knife.
My blood is up and leaking, should I take hold of myself,
Or wrap around this spell and stay true to what you see of me?
You see, only what you want to see,
Just like them.

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