28 January, 2009 at 00:32 (Uncategorized)

Silent, withdrawn, away from us all,
I watch as you remake the past.
All better now.
When will those words
that I loved you for speaking be broken?
I do not know,
but I cannot but know that they will be.
I had thought you were some wonder,
but only for some to see.
Put out the light and hide this two way mirror from me,
for it is not for my eyes to see
your glory
or bask in that moment
when you spoke what I hardly dared to believe.
But when I thought I was wrong
I found… you had told me how it would be,
and I just hoped, just hoped,
that there would be some case I could plead,
some special circumstance…
There was none found.
I watch you, silently,
as you remake the past,
taking away everything I was priveleged to have,
as is your right.
When next your eyes look upon me,
they shall look through me,
for you shall not know me soon.

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Sylvie’s Choice

26 January, 2009 at 21:50 (Uncategorized)

Blue or Red Sylvie? Blue or Red,
Red, red, red,
always red I choose.
I chose red I swear…
it’s just, I could not help but long for blue,
just when it got near enough to touch…
and leaning out for blue,
for what makes the sky
such a darling blue.
Leaning out for blue as it glances over it’s shoulder
and no more,
Blue or Red Sylvie?
You must choose,
I swear I will choose red,
there is no other, no other,
I will choose red not blue.
But I read the choice she made,
and still I longed for you.

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Amusing Myself

26 January, 2009 at 20:58 (Uncategorized)

Gross invasion of my
Personality until it becomes
Somewhat more
Jumpy and then
Linked with yours, unasked for
Just until we’re done.

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26 January, 2009 at 20:37 (Uncategorized)

I suffer from a will-less love,
and it is on my hands.
For what I swore I would not do,
I have done, and done, and done again.
I suffer from a will-less love,
and it saps my self.
It has always sapped myself,
and I knew it to be so,
yet still,
my will is gone.

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24 January, 2009 at 17:20 (Uncategorized)

I don’t know how to stop, I wish I did,
and I sound like some stupid pop-song sung by a million kids,
who haven’t got a clue,
who’ve never felt anything like what I feel…
for all of you,
stop singing love songs,
about love between two,
because I’ve never felt anything like this,
when it comes to some ‘me and you’,
theres never been a ‘me and you’ for me,
I’ve never had this True Love every book talks about,
and suddenly I saw, when it had been over years,
exactly where I stood,
when it came to poetry and love and every single one,
of any deepest darkest fears that I still had,
regarding love.
I don’t know how to stop, I wish I did,
I don’t know how to end this,
all these feelings that I swore off, years ago,
that you, and you alone (yes thats a lie) inspired me to,
and then you say, what you have always said,
and then you say, exactly how you feel,
and I…find myself immmoral,
unethical and cheap.
I find myself is not the self I hoped and thought I’d be.
Because I cannot stop,
I have no knowledge how,
because I am stuck forever in this now,
which to you all is long past,
never thought of and unasked, it is where I am,
because you know, and just hope it isn’t true,
or at least that I will never say so.
It ended all so long ago,
and I’m still here,
and I’m still in love,
when all sense of decency and pride should have me gone by now,
all those worthless promises I made to myself,
should have me long gone,
on some boat or train or plane.
But I’m still here,
and I don’t know how to stop,
perhaps I have no real will to do so,
Perhaps I can no longer claim to care,
if I did,
I would never hurt you so,
by my simple act of being.
You, who are the only one, I can ever claim anything like
‘love at first sight’…and you
who has me trapped unknowingly…
if you ever asked me to go,
would I plead and beg for you to change your mind?
Say soemthing else instead?
Or would I pack my bags, knowing that at last,
I was doing something you had asked.
I don’t know how to stop,
I’m in love like I never have been before,
and all admitted to myself,
long after everyone closed all the doors,
and I’m sat in the house alone faced with that truth,
that I came home after finding home,
to a house that was empty and dark,
to a phone-call that had been predicted,
and a filling of the kettle that was stark in it’s lonliness.
Because I’m the girl that everyone knows,
could never be in love,
in the way she was supposed to be,
and I’m still me,
and I’m still here,
long after I should have been long gone.

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21 January, 2009 at 23:26 (Uncategorized)

I am, who I make myself,
every particle carefully brought.
And at the end?
I shall be nothing,
every particle swept away,
But should I seek to go before my allotted time?
Should I seek to take away what is mine,
before I’ve had the chance
to make it so.
I do not want to go,
and you call that a sin.
I never wish to go,
and you just wish, that I would leave,
I tell you you are decieved and you say that
rather it is I who am so,
but I know,
that I am, every particle,
who I made myself to be,
and where is the pleasure in this life,
of not being, the me that I created?
When this desire is sated,
to create, and to further create,
then I am done,
but why would I go before my time,
why would I seek forever to unwind,
all these particles I brought together,
and forever, and forever,
when it seems long,
then I am done and gone.

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20 January, 2009 at 17:44 (Uncategorized)

And there I am and there you are,
and there’s the world out here too.
For I was too intent and too hyped up,
but still I noticed you,
and your breathing.
For there he was and there he spoke,
and we listened all intently,
and we took note and we resolved,
and all the world did too.
And we agreed to be involved,
though his was another country,
and there I am and there you are,
and there’s the world out here too,
We have re-entered the game again,
and agreed we wanted to,
voted in as Captain again,
because he stood there speaking.
Here I am, here you are, here he is too.
There is in the world again,
hope again, and you.

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Gone for a Song

12 January, 2009 at 18:46 (Uncategorized)

And theres that dancing sideways,
and your eyes are back
and lets take this spark and ride it
when I thought the breezes had all died,
can you hear the wind outside?
It wuthers how it wuthers around her chimney
and you know, it would be better if
we could find a way to be,
and never like before
no never like before
so open the door and ride it
a thousand strips along the place all gone
and we are in this place
and you promised me a song.
So lets hear if we can the way that the chords sound
on the back of the wind and
wandering the moors around
and lets find our way back to the place we left before
there are no scarecrows in these fields
and we are free once more.
Let’s ride this spark, let me see what you say,
a generation more,
till the fields, score,
we will be what we are
nothing more.

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9 January, 2009 at 15:35 (Uncategorized)

I who am about to die, salute you in my pacifist stance.
Oh Frida no one cheated on me,
and I am bone dry too.
I salute you in the sand pit and I drown in this sea.
Frida, I have no reason, so I salute you,
most reasoned of unreasonable women.

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9 January, 2009 at 14:50 (Uncategorized)

There they are then, and there you are,
and did I conflate the two?
He was already there,
and I’m in love with you.
There they are then, looking down,
and everyone’s misled with lies,
and truths, and what they think they know.
There they are then,
laughing long,
and there you are,
and here’s my song,
and I never conflated the two.
She just looks a lot like you.

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