To Alfred
I saw a word and took it,
Wrote of coffeespoons and afternoons and dreams,
Dreaming I,
Left behind some well-travelled sands,
And reached instead for mermaids,
Ill-conceived and well known,
Convinced I could hear them singing,
Convinced as the peach juice dribbled down my chin,
That I had a way,
A way in, to that sea, bedecked by stars,
Lit,in it’s own way by eirie lights from Venus and Mars and Jupiter on high,
Until I had the sky all mapped out in my head,
And took it upon myself to go to bed,
Right there on the sands of the beach,
Within sight of those mermaids that I knew were there,
I woke up cold,
The peach stone out of my grasping hand,
My eyes blinded by the dark,
No moon,
No planetary lights,
And the stars obscured my clouds on that cold and lonely beach.
I never once thought of Michaelangelo as I left,
And went to come and go through my life,
That I once thought was lighted.
Dreaming
I dreamed that I would live my dream,
I dreamed of…
Everything,
And that I would do it, be it, see it one day,
It was just a dream,
I had a dream,
And I would do it all, one day,
I dreamed upon the sofa.
I dreamed.
I dreamed.
I dreamed.
Now it is, only, a dream.
Only a dream, but I dreamed that I would,
be it, do it, see it.
Now I have to tell you that it was only a dream?
But I dreamed…
I picture you,
Dancing around a bonfire.
I see the friends with which you dally and I recognise them,
But we see them so far apart,
As if a mirror splits us,
Not quite appropriate to be together,
Not now, not then, not ever.
I picture you,
Walking down a lane.
I see the friend with which you wander and I recognise him,
But when you speak it is not what I would say,
As if we were quite different people,
Not quite the friends we should be,
Not down that road, we chose to wander.
I picture you,
Staring into the sky,
Can you see me yet? Did you learn to fly?
Another figure comes, leads you gently by the hand,
As if we are destined, to be apart forever,
Because together it could be so much worse,
You would recognise my friends and see my eyes,
Never quite your mirror.
I Have Never
I have never…
Drink Drink Drink!
I have never…
Drink Drink Drink!
Have you ever?
You have never?
I have never…
Drink Drink Drink!
What never ever?
Have you ever!
Drink Drink Drink!
Clownlike
How happy I would be,
To say that this, is life,
This thing, in my hands,
How happy it makes me,
And you turn away and say I’m proud,
How happy I am that I may choose,
To leave,
To fly,
To stay,
To go anywhere.
You turn away and say I’m boastful.
How happy I am,
To tell you I don’t care.
Under the sky I am crushed,
Resistant to change,
The flowers which bloomed irresistably,
Drew me in like poppies,
I slept in my stickiness,
I wept when I awoke,
They forced my dream from me.
They took the flowers,
and made a blinding liquid,
I will not pay them for my dream.
I am resistant to change.
Taking Your Arm
To take an arm,
To walk a little,
And speak
What did I want to say to you?
When we walked gently together,
Oh yes, I remember,
Me too, me too,
And would that have been fair to me or you?
Me too, me too,
I would not have be fair to you,
The last thing anyone needs,
Is another ‘and me’
And what about me?
I am not sure it would have been you know,
Because I would not have been saying,
me too, me too,
So much as former me too, former me too,
And again I am not who I was,
I know my signposts,
I am another me,
Me too again me too,
Would that have been fair to you,
Oh yes, I know, I did it too,
Hardly.
And so let us walk again in silence,
It is much fairer that way.
Is there really nothing I can do?
Is there really no one to turn to?
Of course not because the world is estranged,
And plastic,
And what makes it worse is I am plastic too.
There is nothing more that can be done,
I have said everything,
And impressed nothing upon no one,
There is no reality in what I do,
Whats the point?
It’s all coffeespoons and I have no option but to go on,
And on
And on
And on
You really would think that I’d shut up.
I Could Not Speak To You
When I took your arm,
I almost thought I could,
Say everything that I’d ever thought,
But no.
Banalities, as ever, floated from my mouth,
And am I writing this because I know you’ll read this?
You went walking where I only wished I could,
With him, along the canal.
I really thought I would,
Say all that was on my mind,
That moment when I took your arm,
But the only words,
That came from my mouth,
Were those that came by some baboon-learnt pattern.
You, are everything, I ever dreamed I’d be,
When I look at you from these eyes.
You walked where I can never be,
And it is not only my eyes upon you.
You went walking where I only dreamed I could,
With him, along the canal.
I wanted so much, to say these things to you,
But all that I could say was programmed in me
A thousand years before I spoke
And I never dreamed I’d say that,
Because I dreamed that I could speak to you,
It is not surprising I was wrong.
luvlymish
Mish's Quick Kisses 