Secret Love

19 January, 2011 at 12:15 (Uncategorized)

I have a secret love,
So, it seems, do you,
‘cept mines not really secret,
it being you.

I wish I knew just who it was
– the gossips roll their eyes –
but not to gossip all about
or spread poetry and lies.

I want to know who it is
so I could go and say
Oh, please do this and this and this
and treat him in this way

Please just simply love him
Keep things relaxed and true
Please just make him happy
That’s what I would do.

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9 Comments

  1. shanodindryad said,

    I actually think this is a fantastic piece of writing, the rhyme and rythym is very clever and flows nicely. I think this would sound fantastic if read aloud to a captive audience, or whispered in someone’s ear.

    • the_fnords said,

      In slashdot terms, mod parent plus one insightful.
      (I agree wholeheartedly)

      • luvlymish said,

        Oooh actual critique! πŸ˜‰ Thankyou!
        Thanks for the translation Fnordy! And also the compliment which the translation aided me to understand.

  2. verdandielske said,

    Agreed, I really like this one, especially the last four lines πŸ™‚

    • luvlymish said,

      The sentiment or verbal structure? (And thankyou! :))

      • verdandielske said,

        Both really. It seems quite simple but it flows nicely. And I really really like the sentiment πŸ™‚ is this entirely fictional or based on real life (if you don’t mind my asking)

      • luvlymish said,

        Oh my poetry is almost always based on real life, generally speaking it’s as it gets more prosey it gets less real.
        The only addendum I have to add for people who ask if it’s based in real life is please bare in mind I have a large life, sometimes my poetry comes months/years after the events which inspire it and sometimes I’m inspired by friends and situations which other friends and situations are unaware of.
        This one is real and was inpired two or three hours before it was written… πŸ™‚

      • rose_cain said,

        I kinda want to steal that fisrt verse for a valentine – can I? πŸ™‚

      • luvlymish said,

        You have to acknowledge me as author in some way – but if you do that then sure.

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