11 July, 2009 at 11:09 (Uncategorized)

So you think I’m a bit of a shit,
I can live with that.
There are circles, like you said
and I finally feel – however wrong that I am
I belong.
So you think I’m a bit of a shit,
I prefer truth to lies
and that’s the you I could bring myself,
quite happily, to despise
if I thought it was worth it.
Instead
I shall watch as you happily delude
yourself,
others,
again.
I prefer each painful honesty,
I prefer to know that each love made me me
and I won’t be remaking anytime soon
the past.
Would I wish this on you?
Probably not, and you think I’m a bit of a shit.
I’m not going to forget
each truth that you spun
and I’m not going to forget
that you loved each one.
Whatever they did to you.
Which does make me a bit of a shit.
I like the truth,
this adult habit of forgetting in the name of
love? honesty? obedience?
I don’t like one little bit,
so leave me on the edge of the playground
and if it turns out
(as it’s looking right now)
that this circle isn’t mine to be in the middle of
I’ll go back to hopscotch
on my own.
I’d rather be alone than lie aloud,
at least about what made me,
at least about me.
Your choice to go the other way,
but don’t expect me to play,
remember,
I’m a bit of a shit.

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2 Comments

  1. lentilthelegume said,

    I like this poem. Particularly:
    I’m not going to forget
    each truth that you spun
    and I’m not going to forget
    that you loved each one.
    Whatever they did to you.

    Has a very raw feeling to it.

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